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Messenger: Olivebranch Sent: 6/18/2022 1:30:56 AM
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you going into her in the first night or nah? holding off for something special?marriage?


Messenger: IPXninja Sent: 6/20/2022 12:08:08 PM
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I don't think there's one answer for this.

Mine would be, that it depends on the intent of the relationship. If it's just a sexual relationship then there's no need to wait. If there's chemistry then that's it. If the intention is to have a real relationship meant to develop into something more then no, definitely not something you want to do on the first date because it sets a tone for what that person wants and what the other is willing to give. One of the biggest problems I see is that we often ideologically dismiss any intention that doesn't conform to our beliefs or worldview and then act as if the other person has or should have the same beliefs. Instead of learning about this person we often make assumptions about them. This is a part of "seeing what you want to see". Then when the two people actually come together it is a coming together of 2 different opinions, sometimes even cultures.

The biggest mistake made is when these are incompatible and the connection is doomed from the beginning. The dating process helps us figure this out but in that, you have to sort out different agendas. There are signs and signals of these different agendas, mindsets, personality types, etc. So if someone is sending the signal early for a sexual relationship that may be all they're interested in. That doesn't make them a bad person. You just have to look at whether that is compatible with your own agenda. And agendas can change over time and be different at different points/stages of life. As long as both people agree then that agreement forms the basis of their bond and relationship. The problem is when there is no agreement.


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