Blessed Rastafari Love to one and all. Haile I Selassie the First
Yes i, give thanks to all for sharing your thoughts on this.
"What is the "rod"? To I, it doesn't speak only of a physical rod. Rod of correction and righteousness, rod of leadership, etc... and all the things that symbolically carrying a rod encompasses."
Yes i, very true what the i say, that "rod" can be interpreted in different ways and applied in different circumstances. But it is mostly the act of physical punishment that i wanted to deal with so i will speak on that.
It is true what the i dem say about the importance of communication, and not underestimating the intelligence of children, so when you read what i write, realize that i am not trying to take away anything from that
Sistren Yaa said " smacking has to be a tactic, a resort and has to be done with wider strategy in mind."
and i am glad for that because a lot of people would say that it is a LAST resort and i feel that is a wrong way to see it.To say a last resort means the child has already gone to the level where he/she is almost out of control of the parents. A child has to know his/her boundaries and limits ,a child must know what things will get him/her, i dont know, a grounding or a good talking to, and what kind of things will get him/her a good beating
I will start by saying, i give thanks for every beating i got at the hands of i parents as a child...lol....i dont know what it is, i cant quite put my finger on it, but there is a certain quality that a person attains when raised that way...i donīt know..a certain kind of moral fiber, a certain discipline, a certain kind of respect for your elders....not fear but respect. I am not talking about just beating your kids for any little thing, there is a line between punishment and abuse..but i think every African (i speak of my experiences but i know this is not limited to Africa) who has been raised in such manner knows exactly what i mean. It is almost like, it teaches you to accept punishment for things you do wrong, at home,or in the bigger world picture. It gives a child a certain kind of strength, it allows a child to experience a little pain at the hands of people who love that child and wont really hurt the child, before the child goes out into a world that is not so nicey nicey.
i see all these kids who never got the good beating they desreve as children, then they go to school, and when confronted by physical pain by bullies and such, they donīt know how to deal with things, yes, you all have seen children take guns to school and shoot everyone in sight.
One other strange thing about it is, that when i see how a lot of western people treat their parents and elderly, how they lack a certain closeness, how they put them in old people homes and forget about them,, when i see that, i cant help but feel that the lack of even very mild physical punishment of children in the western society has something to do with it.
It is very strange but it is like, somehow, that kind of physical contact between a parent and a child, even if painful for those minutes, it still draws them together.
Now when i speak of punishment and abuse, ones have to overs that abuse can be seen in two different senses. One is the obvious, abuse is abuse, i donīt need to go into that, but abuse can also be just in the mind of the child.
lol, i know, right now i must sound like those lawyers who argue that a child who charges someone with abuse must be making things up or something.
But no, not what i mean at all. Let me try and explain.
I grew up in a place where it is the most common thing for a child to get a whooping when he/she does wrong. lol, i remember sometimes we kids would get into some mischief and all get caught, and we would all go to our homes to face our parents. But the next morning, we would all meet in the neighborhood or at school, and everyone would show their "war wounds" lol,some would even brag about their wounds and bruises, and it was all fun and laughter,we all knew what we did wrong, we all knew we had it coming, thats it, get on with your life...till the next time you get caught doing wrong lol
But here in the western world i understand it is a different thing altogether, and thats how punishment becomes abuse in the mind of the child. What does a child do when he/she goes to school and he/she knows he/she is the only one with the bruises, what can a child think and feel but that he/she is being singled out for more severe punishment than others.
On top of that, like Sistren Prophecy says, parents will have other people coming up to comment on their parenting when the parent is forced to apply physical punishment so, i suppose i cannot tell anyone to raise their children in that way, not here, not in this society
Sistren Ten the i said " Is physical discipline still permissible after all other methods of reasoning have failed with a +20 year old?"
To that i would say, it is too late by then.
And to "And can brothers and sisters discipline each other - I mean in reference to physical discipline." this i would say, no, i would say that brothers and sisters, well brothers mostly, will more likely have a fight, whether they will fight and go their separate ways or hug each other and call each other brother again would depend on what kind of brothers they were in the first place. Anyway, that would take you back to your first question since if brothers or sister have reached the age when they can physically punish another, then it is too late for the punishment to bring any change other than more animosity and hatred
As alwyas, i hope i havent rambled on lol
Give thanks for listening
Blessed Love
Rastafari is
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