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Since His Majesty Haile Selassie I, gifted the house
-Don't need comma
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gifted the house to the city of Bath, it has served the elderly people of the city first as a residential home and then as a day facility for the elderly as His Majesty intended
- the city of Bath, it has served the elderly people of the city, first as a residential
OR
- the city of Bath; it has served the elderly people of the city, first as a residential
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but the council have stated to the houses administrator that they no longer care about this
- Maybe should be council has, instead of have. I am not 100% sure, but the reason I say that is because council can be considered as a singular entity(even though it has multiple members), so it would be has instead of have, but if you said for example the "people of the council" it would definitely be have, because people is plural.
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While it hasn’t quite got to the point where I and I have to appeal to the council once again, the situation is certainly getting dire.
-"once again" is not really necessary for this sentence and doesn't seem to flow well with the sentence
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Despite this there is an attempt
-Despite this, there is an attempt
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underway to prove that the house and the service it provides are valuable and viable
- either make it services (plural), or say "is valuable and viable"
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If this alone doesn’t convince the council to reconsider, it will certainly make arguing the case for the service and the house as a whole remaining open much easier when the time comes.
- If this alone doesn’t convince the council to reconsider, it will certainly make arguing the case for preserving the service and the house as a whole much easier when the time comes.
-could use other word instead of preserving, the point is more about the structure of the sentence.
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At this time, the only project being undertaken is to improve the grounds around the house with a garden dedicated to Haile Selassie I and the elderly people of the house in order to provide an outdoor space for the house’s patrons and visiting RastafarI people to use, and to show on days that the house is closed that the space is still used.
-Long sentence
-At this time, the only project being undertaken is to improve the grounds around the house with a garden dedicated to Haile Selassie I and the elderly people of the house. The purpose is to provide an outdoor space for the house’s patrons and visiting RastafarI people to use, and to show that the space is still used on days that the house is closed.
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However, with only Iself and one other working regularly in the garden and the staff in the house occupied with running the regular services, there is much work that still needs to be done.
-However, with only Iself and one other working regularly in the garden, along with the staff of the house who are also occupied with running the regular services, there is much work remaining.
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The house is in a poor state of repair, with several rooms needing repainting and redecorating and there is a neglected vegetable patch that is currently only seeing minimal use because of the lack of manpower and material in the garden. Though those two are the most immediate concerns, there are many other things that could be done to improve the house.
-The house is in a poor state of repair, with several rooms that need repainting and redecorating. There is a neglected vegetable patch that is currently seeing only minimal use because of the lack of manpower and material in the garden. Those two issues are the most immediate concerns, but there are many other things that could be done to improve the house in order to eliminate some of the arguments that the council might make against its current use and function.
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What I ask is that if any Ones have the time and skills or even just some spare equipment or materials they don’t mind donating, come and look at the house and give what they can to keep the house serving the purpose that His Majesty intended. Whatever Ones decide to do though, please spread the word, because if nothing is heard about the situation, I and I don’t want to be the first Ones to say that all is lost.
-What I am asking is for Ones and Ones who have the time and skills or even some spare equipment or materials they don’t mind donating, to come and...
-Whatever Ones and Ones are able to do will be appreciaLoved, and please make sure to spread the word. If Ones and Ones don't hear about the situation before the final decision is made by the council, they will not be able to help prevent that decision from being the wrong one. I and I don’t want the day to come where I and I have to say that all is lost.
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